fRYed RYce Making a Rap Appearance Tonight!

I'm done with my homework, but I don't know what to do with myself!

I will compose a freestyle rap. Enjoy.

Yo. Yo. Mic check one, two, one, two...
Out here rapping got nothing to do.
Think I'll tell you about my ghetto
Cause I definitely don't live in a meadow
Got some gangstas in my hizzle
Guttmans on the side they're fo' rizzle
Jonathan wields a glock like a foo'
He says you better watch who youre talking to
Got sistah's pretty crazy about their classes
But only when not beating up asses
Oma is the brains of the whole operation
And they only eat hot dogs from "Hebrew Nation"

Perhaps you'd be more interested in school
My ryhmes are tasty but try not to drool
Rio Americano is the definition of 'thugged'
Once I even saw this kid get mugged...
by a seagull (not even kidding though)
Honors kids we do the craziest shit
And if you're in band, double legit
At this party with my RA 'ese's
Spent like 3 hours reading essays
We duke it out like rabid horses
For the chance at college courses
Everyone packs heat under their coats
And fights are started by shakespearian boasts
My weapon of choice: a number two pencil
Other kids have pens, sissors, or a stencil
A fight, which left a kid lame
Was started by a graphing calculator game
Everyone drinks on the school property
Water in a Nalgene is the way to do it properly
Our clothes denote gang relations
Cal clothes mean a gang of asians
However one thug stands out from the rest
This guy raised the bar on the gangsta test
Daniel Schwartz: National Champ of Speed Chess


By, fRYed RYce

Alien Babies and Alcatraz

I don’t really have a specific idea what I’m here to write about, there’s just been too much going on. Or lack thereof due to the one month grounding appointed by madre and padre.

I’ve done nothing but be sick. Which in and of itself was pretty exciting.

So, since last Tuesday I felt like I had a baby alien attempting to crawl out of my tummy, no biggie. Then from Thursday on I had the baby alien and a drill going into my brain and all my joints (neck included) felt like they had been tightened with burning barbed wire, and I was tired ( I can’t think of a imaginative way to say that). This goes on and each day I want to stay home, but mom says, “you can make it just one more day.” Finally Sunday rolls around and I’m just so tired/sick that I fall asleep 45 minutes after I’d been asleep for 13 hours. Mom flips out.

Going to the doctor is so lame, but to make matters worse we went to ‘urgent care’ and on a SUNDAY. At least take me out of school for it. Well, here I am and the Doctor is like, “You might have appendicitis, or blunt trauma/internal bleeding, or meningitis, but its probably the stomach flu.” Then Natty’s mom thinks I have meningitis. Cool.

All I’ve had to eat is mainly applesauce, but I like applesauce. It keeps my tummy from eating itself and keeps the alien baby happy too. Its also a good diet food, I’ve lost 4 pounds.

Okay, then I come to school today and I walk into Blenner and everyone is like “Lols, Ryan is here *gasp, did he use leet hax to get here.?” Apparently everyone thinks/thought I was dying, which I am. I just said its cancer not an alien baby in my tummy that’s doing it. Tomorrow we shall see if everyone is as disappointed/exuberant that I’m still alive as they were today when I showed up today.

One more thing, can someone give me something to do for the next month? like a project I can work on to pass the time of imprisonment? I was thinking of taming some wild birds like that guy from Alcatraz did, then I realized I’m comparing my life to Alcatraz, that’s just sad. At least there’s no jellyball-like dirty bombs commandeered by terrorists like in that one Nicholas Cage movie, “The Rock”.

Oh, the baby’s kicking I should go to bed.

Ry